the night i ran to love

Here is another story from the crush I had on Lawal. if you don't know who Lawal is, please read: Where it ALL started: http://roamingseries.blogspot.com/2011/11/where-it-all-started.html

As you all know Lawal was cocoa brown-skinned with toned muscles in our teenage years (which I still think is the reason I’m attracted to a certain type of men till date.)

Anyways remember the exam prep classes we were attending?  It was a group of about 20-25 Upper Middle-Class children between 16 and 18 years of age. It was this post-high-school limbo where we spent time waiting for college acceptance during the summer. Naturally, we had the cliques but not exactly like high school; I mean that would be totally lame since we are not in high school anymore right? WRONG! Eddie – one of the boys in Lawal’s clique was having a party and everyone was invited.  I will dare not even think of asking my parents if I could go. Seriously… I knew better: 

There was church service every night (or at least it felt like every night) &

My father... Period, Point blank, Enough said

But deep down inside I really wanted to go to this party. I mean DAMN! Imagine my Lawal & me??? Finally dancing the social flirting game. He was the only guy I had eyes for. (Just the thought of him sent tingling things down my spine.) 

Olivia my so called BFF at the time was going to the party and she kept busting my balls about Chichi being there and stealing my boo if I didn’t come. I was so determined to go that I figured out a plan on how I was going to make it to this party. WITHOUT MY PARENT KNOWING.

NO! It was not the stuff-your-bed-with-pillows trick. It was much simpler than that. I was simply going to walk out the front door and use church to my advantage.

On that given Saturday,  Olivia  came over & hung out with me. Then around 5-ish, I told my Mother we were going to take a walk, which was not suspicious at all. Our parents usually let us roam around visiting neighborhood friends in the summer to keep us out of their hair; but, there was always the universal “street lights” curfew.

How was I going to pull this off? Don’t bother your pretty little head just chill & read …

Around 6 pm I came back to the house and lingered around my mother in such a way as to get under her skin and annoy her. When she finally got fed up and snapped at me that was my little opening! Fail proof plan!

I asked her if I could go hang out with Olivia till it was time for church then I could possibly walk from there and meet them at church. It was just about the same distance walking to prep-classes. I guess she was irritated enough to agree. 

BOOM! Like lightening, I was out. Being a tomboy, I was already dressed. Jeans, one of my million collection of tops & jelly-sandals, what else did I need?

I met Olivia at the estate gate and my heart sunk. She was dressed to the nine! I looked like her broke ass side kick; my heart started to play Bach’s Fugue in D minor and drums! 

Forget what Olivia looks like. What about Chichi what will she look like? Will I be attractive to Lawal. Will he notice me?

Well I didn’t find out. Soon as we got to  Eddie's street I told Olivia my stomach hurt like I was having cramps and I didn’t have any tampons … I did end up in church that evening praying for major forgiveness. 

To help you understand the Lawal series please read: Where it ALL started: http://roamingseries.blogspot.com/2011/11/where-it-all-started.html

STOP THE LIES! “Friends with Benefits” do not become Husband & Wife???

After watching “Friends with Benefits” and “No Strings Attached” I just feel the need to say something. I am sick & tired of how much Hollywood fakes the funk. There is no one I know (let me say it again) No one I know ends up happily ever after with their F Buddy. SIMPLE.

Let me break it down. If and when two people decide to hook up for purely physical reasons it means that one or both of them do not and will not consider a real relationship developing.

When a female agrees to hook up with a guy even though she has true feelings for him then she should un-CLOUD her brain & heart and understand that Mr. Dk ain’t feeling her on any level more than a pleasure outlet.

I keep having these conversations with people talking about men and women cannot be just friends. I OBJECT! Case in point my boy David hooked up with this chic Natalie*, they had absolutely nothing in common but sex. At no point in time did either of them think the situation will escalate to the next level because it was never anything more than two friends helping each other out.

Their friendships was even as far as taking relationship advice & introducing each other to potential life partners knowing full well that it will cut into their physical time together.

Natalie knew that David was just was not the ONE. She could never present him as her man or anything.

Don’t get me wrong, David is a good looking man and upper middle class citizen. He is capable of taking care of a family. However the two could not phantom either one being “the ONE”

Fast forward 9 years later.  Natalie is happily married with two children and David still unmarried, has a child with another woman and they are still friends BUT no longer hook up with each other. This is NOT an exception to the rule. This is the rule *period*

If two people are considering being F.W.B. and one of the parties has a hint of any kinds of feeling THEN there shouldn’t be any hook up happening.

RUN far far away from that “state of affairs” no pun intended. That is the simple and straight forward rule of thumb to a successful F Buddy relationship.

*I have changed character names to protect my friends.

My PORN Name is Misty N

Most people will not admit this, but if you have ever watched porn, the good ones not the rubbish homemade crap, most of us wish two things

1. Having the Greek goodly body & body parts of the actors and actresses and
2. The tricks, skill set and ability to do Everything they do while having your partner climbing up the wall.

As long as these thoughts are healthy& not obsessive compulsive in nature, then anything is possible. Don’t get mad at me for quoting the bible here but the good book says “whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive”

However, nearly all things in life require a little more than just believing to get a step closer to the goal.

In good health I have decided to pull that sexy ass porn star in me out.

STEP One: stick with a healthier life style and exercise routine to lose the pounds.

STEP Two: study good porn movies and practice what I see. Practice makes perfect right?

NOW Don’t get me wrong I get an "A" in the sack skills. But essentially I am saying that instead of sitting around moaning and groaning [no pun intended] about everything that I wish I could do, I’m just going to get up and do it. Nothing in life comes easy!

Naturally I expect to fall a few times and I expect all kinds of stumbling blocks along the way, the Psalm says "for though a righteous man falls seven times, he rises again..." {Yes I will use bible verses as it suits me. that's what it’s there for}

No matter what it is that I want, good or bad I won’t stop chasing my realistic dreams. All I need is Faith the size of a mustard seed and I can tell ANY mountain move out of my way& it will disappear.

WATCH OUT WORLD here comes “Misty N”

Where it ALL started

Since I was waiting for my secondary school results, my father registered me for G.C.E. as a backup plan to get into University just in case I didn't pass all my subjects but who am I to complain? This was the one chance I had to leave the house and socialize with normal teenagers instead of spending 24/7 at our "up & coming" church. Every day I looked forward to going to my exam prep classes. Granted I did not say much or talk to anyone really, I thoroughly enjoyed the attention I got from Lawal. My first serious crush & I still did not know how to handle it. Lawal oh Lawal…so handsome… so muscular and... So Muslim! If only my parents knew, they would have me sleeping at that church! He had beautiful skin, dark, with muscles that flexed with every movement he made. I thought maybe I would let him do things that I had only read about in "Mills and Boon" novels. I swooned to him when he started growing a beard oh it took all the strength and energy in me not to run my fingers through it. He looked like a man! He sat next to me in the class & during our breaks he would walk with me and sit with me and talk with me I just yearned & dreamt that one day he would lean over and do something... even rub my “chest” About that my chest, it blossomed into this perfect shape around 5th/6th grade. Everyone in my class had started wearing a sports bras, Me? I was in lace bras!!!
However, I kept praying so hard that my booty would come in, & while I was so focused on getting a booty, I did not get my 1st period till New Years in the 9th Grade (another story for another time). On the bright side, I eventually grew size double D-cups and those became my claim to "fame"
Anyways like I was saying, all I wanted was for Lawal to kiss me and run his manly hand over my "chest". It never happened though but I will tell you what happened instead … ok so I am spending all this time wanting Lawal, but so was Chichi. Chichi was a heck of a lot more comfortable “hanging with guys” which was something I was jealous of. She chit chatted easily with everyone and had a hearty laugh I know this because she laughed at their EVERY joke. Her hair was longer than mine and her skin was a nice lightened brown. She was taller and had made me feel like a "small girl" even though I knew we were about the same age. So here, I am thinking I had this incredible connection with Lawal, but then gradually he was pulling away, no walks together, no talks during lunch, he wasn't sitting next to me anymore ...
Finally, one day between classes, I walked over to where he was standing with the guys and even Chichi was acting as if she was part of the clique. I tapped him on the shoulder and the look in his eyes was different I stuttered, “Oh, umm, just wanted to say hi” “Hi” Someone giggled & I started to walk away he reach for my wrist and I almost melted into a pool. “Hey how far? Don’t be upset” “I’m not upset” Awkward silence. I shifted from one foot to the other. “So…” “Yeah…?” “See the thing is that I just want a little space” The puzzled look on my face must have been a dead give way “I don’t want people thinking that we are like boyfriend and girlfriend”
With the little amount of dignity left in me I responded “No biggie. I get it”
BUT NO, I did not “get it ” all day I kept asking myself what da...? SPACE??? I swear that word “space” will hunt me for the rest of adult life but on that day I kept asking Why? Why? Why? Then I veered into "psycho" ... could there be someONE else? What did I do to trigger this? Was I suddenly unattractive? Needy? I did not know exactly what to do. I swear I did not learn anything that day or the next day or that whole week for that matter (if only my father knew!). Thank GOD I eventually did not need G.C.E. for college but here I was stuck missing Lawal and our love connection.